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Bullying, Identity & Becoming: What They Don’t Tell You About Healing From It (Ep 60)

Season #2

In this episode, the focus is on addressing the far-reaching effects of bullying beyond childhood and into adulthood. The discussion centers on the identity wounds bullying creates, how it reprograms the nervous system, and shapes subconscious beliefs. Practical tools like naming the identity wound, setting firm boundaries, and using nervous system repair techniques are explored, along with personal anecdotes of overcoming bullying. Listeners are encouraged to reclaim their power, heal past wounds, and learn how to handle contemporary bullies effectively while maintaining their dignity and peace.

From the Episode:

  • "   Because bullying does not end when school does. It evolves and so do we."
  • "  Bullying activates chronic fight or flight in the developing nervous system that leads to hyper vigilance, people pleasing, shut down, collapsing boundaries."
  • "  Sometimes your first bully is your parent. I want you to let that land. Some of you that might not resonate, and some of you might go, "Hmm, that's the truth." And it's unfortunate, but it's factual that sometimes our first bullies are our parents or caretakers."
  • "...she started instantly crying, saying we killed a family. And in that moment I was like, oh my gosh—yes, we did."
  •  "   The distortion here is that you assume the bullying means that you're defective, you're flawed. You're fundamentally less than."
  • "  ...if I shine, I'll be attacked. And this is a big one. And it comes from bullies, often targeting people who stand out or who have something special. And the distortion becomes that you associate visibility with danger."
  • "  Bullying plants false identities in children that adults mistake is their personality. It's not who they truly are. It's who they became to survive."
  • "  Shame is the lowest vibrational frequency there is. This is why I'm always coming back to shame and one of my favorite mantras: Shame off me. Shame off me."
  • "    Understand that bullies feed on your reactivity. Bullies do not thrive on your existence. They thrive on your response. They want your tears, your fear, your defensiveness, your over-explaining, your cracked voice, your emotional spiral. Not because they win, but because it confirms the role that they need to be powerful."
  • "  Another big one is don't argue with people who are committed to misunderstanding you." 

 

Notes and Considerations:

    

One More Thing:

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Contact:

Have questions, reflections, or something you’d like me to cover in an upcoming episode? Feel free to reach out! You can email me at [email protected] or send me a DM on Instagram. I love hearing from you and connecting with this amazing community!

 

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